Trying to find some Peace, just for a few minutes

A couple of weeks ago I ventured out to the Psychic Fair with a friend from work. Walking through the aisles of Mystics, Seers, and Seuth Sayers I came across a lady that had done a reading for me in the spring this year. So I decided to pay the fee and sit with her for 30 minutes and see what silly things she could come up with. She scared the living shit out of me!!!! Told me that I was the most tired person she had ever seen and that I needed to slow down or I'd drop dead by the time I was 47 (that's in March). She also told me that I should kick out my boyfriend, walk out on my day job etc etc etc............ Now some of these things would be great ideas, like quitting the day job but how can I do any of them???

I'm scared. but am I slowing down, NO? I'm an idiot. Last week on top of my regular full time job I worked 73 hours overtime with my part time job (which I happen to really enjoy)

I need a holiday, I need a weekend off. But I need to pay my bills, get my sick cats looked after, feed my son and most of all be alive for my Grandson as he grows up.

WTF am I gonna do?

Be Careful

It is true, be careful what you wish for….. Hero worship should be left as exactly that, “worship”, and carried out from afar. Fantasies should be left alone. Truth is, the reality is never as good as what you fantasize (or rarely).

Be Careful

It is true, be careful what you wish for….. Hero worship should be left as exactly that, “worship”, and carried out from afar. Fantasies should be left alone. Truth is, the reality is never as good as what you fantasize (or rarely).

Tired

I'm tired

Tired of people telling me what to do and when to do it and why I should do it or shouldn't
I'm tired of being taken advantage of
Tired of being disregarded
Tired of being undervalued
I'm tired of working all the damn time
Tired of having nothing to do even if I did have some time off
Tired of losing my little ones to strangers, just hoping they'll give them good homes
Tired of assholes who take animals and drop them off at the park because they're tired of them and figure that they're animals they'll be fine. No they won't IDIOTS, they will end up on my doorstep, probably pregnant and I will have a new batch of babies that I have to find loving families for.
I am tired of my kids Dad not giving a shit about them anymore
Tired of having to be both parents
Tired of getting to bed late every gd night
Tired of never getting to take an actual lunch break at the day job
Tired of bullshit and drama and torment
Tired of being everyone's last choice
Tired of being such a goody goody all the time
Mostly I'm JUST TIRED..................................

Addicted

Addicted and there's no hope, no chance, and no light at the end of that tunnel.

I feel the electricity as you pass by. Not touching, no need for contact, yet craving that contact. Longing to feel the heat of your touch. There's a magnetic pull. I'm trying desperately not to be drawn in. Not to react, not reach out and touch. All the time knowing that the fireworks would be spectacular but then what? The pain of rejection, the realization of the truth, from the reality of knowing that I am for all intensive purposes and by today's society's standards, redundant.